🕺 The Dinner Lady Dance: A Call-and-Response Performance Poem for KS2 ✍️
🌟 The Story Behind The Poem
I wrote The Dinner Lady Dance in just ten minutes while travelling on a train to Margate in Kent where I was working with a primary school. For years, I’d been experimenting with call-and-response poems in schools, but nothing seemed to click — until this one.
It’s also a personal poem for me. I wrote it in honour of my mum, who was a dinner lady at my own primary school. She was part of my childhood school days, and this poem celebrates the energy, humour, and warmth that dinner ladies bring to school life.
Since then, The Dinner Lady Dance has become my smash-hit performance piece. Children ask for it everywhere I go, and teachers love joining in too. It’s been performed in thousands of schools across the UK and internationally — and was even featured live on the BBC’s Children in Need show, performed by a primary school. Over 3 million people have viewed me performing this poem on Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok.
Why is it so popular? Because it’s not just a poem — it’s an experience. The rhythm, repetition, and actions mean the whole hall can join in, creating unforgettable assemblies full of laughter.
📝 The Dinner Lady Dance Poem
Here it is in full. Remember, it’s designed as a call-and-response poem: one voice calls the line, and the audience repeats it back, with actions.
The Dinner Lady Dance
by Ian Bland
(Chorus)
Eat your dinner your last chance!
Do the dinner lady dance!
Eat your dinner your last chance!
Do the dinner lady dance!
Gets so angry in a crowd
Blows her whistle really loud
Always shouting in the hall
Stops you crying when you fall
Tells you off for telling lies
Hands on hips and angry eyes!
(Chorus)
Loves to jump in when you fight
Wears a coat that far too tight
Starts to panic in the rain
Dinner ladies they’re insane
Play a game and they will spoil it
Won’t let you go to the toilet!
(Chorus)
Keeps you waiting all the while
Makes you walk in single file
Always grumps and always pouts
Makes you eat your Brussel sprouts
Cleverest people in a way
They only work one hour a day!
(Chorus)
Makes you eat that fatty mince
Curly hair with purple rinse
Makes you stand up on the wall
Confiscates the playground ball
Think they’re nice then think again
They scared away the dinner men!
(Chorus)
🎤 How to Perform It in Assembly
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Call-and-Response – One person calls the line, and the rest of the class or audience repeats it back.
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Add Actions – Encourage silly movements for each line: angry eyes, blowing a whistle, walking in single file, etc.
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Use the Chorus – Clap, stomp, or add body percussion to make the chorus really punchy.
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Get Everyone Involved – Staff joining in makes the performance unforgettable — the bigger the energy, the better!
🎉 Classroom & Writing Activities
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Make Your Own Call-and-Response Poem ✍️
Pupils write their own version — The Teacher Tango, The Headteacher Shuffle, or The Homework Rap. Keep the chorus simple and repeatable. -
Whole-School Assembly Performance 🎭
Each year group could perform a verse, with the whole school joining in for the chorus. Perfect for end-of-term or celebration assemblies. -
Action Poetry Lesson 🕺
Use the poem to show children how words and actions work together. Great for introducing performance poetry in a fun, physical way.
👩🏫 Teacher Notes
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Curriculum links: English (performance poetry, rhythm, repetition), PE (movement, coordination), Drama (expression, teamwork).
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Differentiation: Every child can take part — even the shyest pupils join in with the chorus. Confident children can lead verses or add actions.
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Engagement: The humour, rhythm, and actions make it impossible not to join in — perfect for reluctant writers and performers.
🌟 Final Thought
The Dinner Lady Dance has been my most popular poem for over 20 years. It brings assemblies to life with humour, rhythm, and actions that children and teachers will remember long after the performance ends.
For me, it’s extra special because it was written in honour of my mum, who was a dinner lady in my own primary school. That personal connection is part of why it means so much to me — and why I think it resonates so strongly with children today.
🎤 Want to see it live in your school?
In a Poetry Day, I:
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Perform high-energy poems in assembly (including The Dinner Lady Dance).
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Lead fun, interactive workshops where children write and share their own poems.
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End the day with performances that make every child feel confident and proud.
📅 You can book me for:
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In-person Poetry Days anywhere in the UK
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Online Poetry Workshops for flexible, affordable access
👉 Dates around World Book Day and National Poetry Day fill quickly, so book early.
Contact me here ➡ Poets in Schools – Ian Bland
