⚽ Football Poems KS2: Funny World Cup Poetry & Classroom Ideas 🌍
🌟 Why Football Poems in KS2?
Football sparks excitement, rivalry, and humour — perfect ingredients for poetry! Whether children are die-hard fans or not, football poems KS2 give them a chance to explore rhyme, rhythm, and performance in a fun and creative way.
Through football poetry, pupils can:
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Experiment with rhythm and rhyme 🎶
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Perform poems aloud with real energy 🎤
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Link English with PE, PSHE and teamwork 🤝
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Explore humour, parody, and everyday life 😂
👉 I often use football poems in my Poetry Days and online workshops because they instantly grab children’s attention.
For more information about my poetry days in schools contact me here➡ Poets in Schools – Ian Bland
Great for teachers looking to save time!
📝 Example Football Poems for KS2
1. Division 3 Blues!
(A comic look at life in the lower leagues)
I might not have a Rolls Royce or a chateau or a plane,
I might not have a pop star wife or a villa out in Spain,
I might not have a fan club or a speed boat out at sea,
Because I’m just a lowly player
And I’m in Division 3!
So what? I clean my own boots and I have to park my car,
More likely to be called “Eee Aaw!” than the next big football star
No one seems to want to sign me for a record-breaking fee,
Because I’m just a lowly player
And I’m in Division 3!
Last week I got a phone call from a man up at UTD!
I really could have fainted and was terribly excited!
But this UTD was in Frickley and 1 division down from me,
So I’m still a lowly player
And still in Division 3!
💡 Classroom idea: Pupils write their own “Division 3” poems about being a lower-league star in another sport — netball, basketball, or even quidditch!
2. Penalty Pressure!
It’s a penalty!
The pressure’s on!
And as I run up there to score,
My shorts drop down,
I pirouette,
And fall down
on
the
floor!
💡 Performance idea: Great as a short choral poem with the whole class shouting “It’s a penalty! The pressure’s on!” before one performer mimes the disaster.
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3. Frightening But True.
It’s embarrassing, ridiculous
It’s frightening, it’s sad!
But my Gran’s a better footballer
Than my brother, me
And Dad!
💡 Writing challenge: Children write funny “Frightening But True” poems about family members being better than them at sports, games, or even video games!
4. Live Football From Pete Symmonds’ Garden!
Good afternoon sports fans and welcome to
Live Football From The Back Of Pete Symmonds’ Garden.
(Or LFFTBOPSG for short)
Here in sunny Rochdale!
After 12 minutes of frenzied football briefly interrupted by a can of coke and a Mars Bar neither team (each comprising of one brother) has been able to score a goal and so we find ourselves in a penalty shoot out situation!
And as I stride up to take the first shot I hear Mum shouting us to come in for tea:
I ignore and I shoot, and I score!
And now it’s young Paul Symmonds’ turn to come and take a penalty, Mum shouts again,
He ignores, shoots, misses and…
OH NO — SMASHES A PANE OF GLASS IN DAD’S GREENHOUSE!
And here comes Dad red faced, striding over, not too pleased and he’s taking out his cards and the young lad Paul Symmonds is…
SENT IN!
And now Dad’s looking at me, I explain I had nothing to do with it but he’s…
SENDING ME IN AS WELL!
A harsh decision, I protest, but the big man’s not going to change his mind.
A remarkable finish to a memorable game — join us next week when Paul and I will be playing football in the attic, and hopefully we won’t break anything.
💡 Activity: Write a “sports commentary poem” about a playground game — rounders, tag, even hide and seek. Perform it with over-the-top commentator voices!
Hundreds of FREE poetry ideas, activities and resources-ready to download!
5. Football Gone Wrong!
It’s the kick off
I take a touch
And then try that killer pass
I miss the ball
Twist my leg
And end up face down in the grass…
A throw in
I lift the ball
My options looking good…
My fingers slip the ball slides down
And ends up in the mud…
A corner
My time to shine
I’m a corner kicking star
I place it down
I strike the ball
And it hits my dad’s new car…
A penalty
The pressure’s on
And as I run up there to score
My shorts drop down
I pirouette
And fall down on the floor…
We’re the champions
I take the cup
And thrust it into the sky
The lid falls off
And twists around
And gives me a black eye…
The changing room
I need a shower
I’m tired I’m cold I’m wheezing
I turn the tap the water comes
It isn’t hot – it’s freezing!!!
💡 Extension: Pupils write “Sports Gone Wrong” poems about disasters in netball, swimming, athletics, or gymnastics.
6. The Football Rap
Head it in the air or trap it with your boot
Flick it on the volley when you’re ready to shoot
Waiting for that pass and you’re ready to score
Listen to the crowd as they give you a roar
You can give it a kick you can give it a tap
Cos you’re listening
TO THE FOOTBALL RAP!
Off the back of your heel off the back of your head
Defenders’ lives all filled with dread
Pass it down the middle feed it down the wing
Faithful fans all ready to sing!
You can give it a kick you can give it a tap
Cos you’re listening
TO THE FOOTBALL RAP!
You can dribble in the classroom and shimmy on the floor
You can play against the teachers on the corridor
Everybody’s playing nobody’s left out
You can even ask the dinner ladies for a knock about
You can give it a kick you can give it a tap
Cos you’re listening
TO THE FOOTBALL RAP!
Play it with your grandma let her show her flair
Play it with your grandad in his wheelchair
Football with your mother when she’s trying to make the dinner
Everybody playing and everyone a winner
You can give it a kick you can give it a tap
Cos you’re listening
TO THE FOOTBALL RAP!
💡 Performance: Perfect for a rap battle! Split the class into groups and give each one a verse to perform with rhythm and beatboxing.
🎉 Extra Football Poetry Activities
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⚽ Poetry Penalty Shootout – Groups perform verses, the class votes for the funniest.
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🎤 Choral Commentary – Turn any poem into a football-style commentary with chants and echoes.
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🎨 Illustration Task – Pupils illustrate football poems in unusual places.
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🎲 Quick-Fire Game – Roll dice for random settings (desert, moon, jungle) and write a verse.
👩🏫 Teacher Notes
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Curriculum links: English (poetry, rhyme, performance), PE (teamwork), PSHE (resilience, handling pressure).
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Differentiation: Short funny poems for support (Frightening But True), longer raps/ballads for challenge.
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Engagement: Football themes motivate reluctant writers and bring performance poetry alive.
🌟 Final Thought
Football poems KS2 are energetic, funny, and engaging. With poems like Penalty Pressure, Division 3 Blues and The Football Rap, children can laugh, perform, and write their own sporty verse — even if they don’t love football!
More football poetry ideas can be found here:
👉 To bring poems like this to life in your school, book me for a Poetry Day or join one of my online workshops.
Contact me here➡ Poets in Schools – Ian Bland
