Teacher for Sale! A Fun Poetry Activity for Your Class 🏷️📢

👉 In my Poetry Days in primary schools across the UK I work hard to get the children excited about writing and performing their own poems. I visit over 100 schools every year and I’d love to work with your children and teachers.

📅 You can book me for:

In-person Poetry Days across the UK
Online Poetry Workshops (affordable and flexible)

➡ Secure your date here: Poets in Schools – Ian Bland

Poetry should be fun.
Poetry should make you laugh.
Poetry should bring joy to your classroom.

And what could be funnier than putting your teacher up for sale in a cheeky poem?

Great for teachers looking to save time!

The Poem 📝

Here’s one I often perform in schools:

Teacher For Sale!
33 years on clock, slightly worn exterior and tendency to stare into space.
Can often be seen parked outside McDonalds.
VERY economical to run – eats porridge for lunch, one coffee in the morning, one in the afternoon.
Comes with own whistle and selection of chalks.
Sometimes absent on Mondays and disappears very quickly on Fridays.
Gets stuck in 3rd gear.
Recently observed last Tuesday by Mr Lord our Headteacher (didn’t go well!).
Will take ANYONE in part exchange.
Attitude may need some adjustment.

CREDIT AVAILABLE! BUY NOW PAY NOTHING UNTIL NEXT SEPTEMBER!

Follow her on Twitter (no one else does).

This always gets a laugh. Children love the idea of writing an advert-style poem where a teacher (or family member!) is described as if they were for sale.

👉 For more funny verses pupils love, see my blog Best Funny Poems for KS2 Children. 👉 KS2 Character Poems

🔗KS2 Frozen Inspired Winter Poems 🔗 Teaching Powerful Verbs Through Poetry 🔗 Festive Poetry Ideas KS2

Step 1: Explore the Language of Adverts 📰

Before writing, explore the dramatic, persuasive language used in adverts. Model some phrases and make a class word bank. For example:

Best before
Slightly damaged
One careful owner
Bargain price
Cash only
Buy one get one free
Limited edition
Credit available

Having these phrases ready gives children the tools to create funny and convincing poems.

👉 Want to extend persuasive language work? Check out Powerful Verbs Through Poetry.

Step 2: Write “For Sale” Poems ✍️

Next, invite children to write their own version.
They don’t have to focus on a teacher – it could be:

A brother or sister
Mum, Dad, or even themselves
A favourite pet or toy
An imaginary creature

Give them freedom to be playful.

👉 Teacher For Sale Writing Framework

👉 For structured inspiration, try my Quick & Easy Poetry Starters for KS2. 👉 Funny Christmas Poems KS2

Step 3: Add Extra Fun Activities 🎭

Once the poems are written, extend the activity with these ideas:

🔥 Hot Seating

Children perform their poem as if they are the salesperson. The rest of the class asks “buyer questions” to test their sales pitch.

🎨 Design a Poster

Ask pupils to create a colourful poster for their poem. Encourage bold headlines (“Mum for Sale!”) and catchy slogans (“Only 1 Left – Grab Her Now!”).