🎅 Funny Christmas Poems KS2 | 4 Hilarious Santa Poems for Class Readings & Performances
Why Funny Christmas Poems Work So Well in KS2 🎄
Christmas is full of sparkle, surprises, and silliness — the perfect ingredients for poetry! Funny Christmas Poems KS2 give pupils a chance to play with rhythm, rhyme and imagination while celebrating the most magical time of year.
Whether you’re planning a Christmas assembly, a classroom performance, or a creative writing lesson before the holidays, these poems will bring laughter and festive fun to your pupils.
Through funny Christmas poems, children can:
🌟 Explore rhythm, rhyme and repetition
🎠Perform with expression, tone and confidence
đź“ť Write their own Christmas-themed verses
🎤 Celebrate humour and imagination in poetry
👉 In my Poetry Days across the UK, I often perform funny poems about school life — the teachers, the routines, and the classroom chaos!
I visit over 100 schools every year, inspiring children and teachers to see poetry as fun, physical and creative.
đź“… You can book me for:
In-person Poetry Days across the UK
Online Poetry Workshops (affordable and flexible)
➡ Secure your date here: Poets in Schools – Ian Bland
Great for teachers looking to save time!
🧝 Poem 1: I Want to Be a Christmas Elf
by Ian Bland
I want to be a Christmas Elf
I want to help make all those toys
I want to help make Christmas special
For all YOU girls and boysI want to work with Santa
So I can see him every day
I want to hear those Ho Ho Hos
And travel in his sleighI want to be a Christmas Elf
Even though they’re only small
It must be hard to do that work
When you’re only three feet tallI want to live in Lapland
Where the weather’s always snowing
Where the cold will freeze your fingertips
And the winter wind is blowingI want to be a Christmas Elf
Where turkey’s always cooking
I want to chomp on candy canes
When Santa isn’t lookingI want to stay up after midnight
And sleep in a tiny bed
I want to wear that red-green hat
With a bell up on my head!I want to be a Christmas Elf
And have Christmas every day
Where you can play with any toy
And you don’t have to payI want to wear those stripy trousers
I want to decorate your tree
I want to wear those turned-up slippers
And do a dance for all to see!I want to be a Christmas Elf
And I want to be one soon
I’m gonna pack my bags and get a plane
And go this afternoonI’m going to live in Lapland
No matter what my parents say
The question is, when I arrive —
Will Santa let me stay?
đź’ˇ Classroom Activity Ideas
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Elf Application Form – Pupils complete a “job application” to join Santa’s workshop, describing their skills and elf names.
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Rhythm & Rhyme Game – Clap the beat of each verse; spot rhyming pairs; create a new rhyming couplet about elf life.
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Lapland Map Challenge – Geography link: design a Lapland map showing toy factories, sleigh bays and candy-cane cafés.
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Performance Idea – Groups mime wrapping gifts, hammering toys and jingling bells in time with the rhythm.
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Writing Extension – Write an elf diary entry the morning after Christmas Eve!
👉 Christmas Haiku Poem Writing Framework
👉 Christmas Cinquain Poem Writing Framework
👉 Christmas Acrostic Poem Writing Framework
👉 Christmas Mesostic Poem Writing Framework
👉 Christmas Telestich Poem Writing Framework
🛷 Poem 2: Santa’s Sleigh
by Ian Bland
Santa’s sleigh! Santa’s sleigh!
Will you visit me on Christmas Day?
Will you swoop down by the light of moon?
And visit my house very soon?Santa’s sleigh! Santa’s sleigh!
Do you need me to show the way?
I’ll be by my window as the snow grows deep —
I promise I won’t fall asleep!Santa’s sleigh! Santa’s sleigh!
I’ll kneel down every night and pray
That you’ll bring presents in the night,
Then disappear far out of sight…
đź’ˇ Classroom Activity Ideas
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Soundscape Performance – Use sleigh bells, wind noises and reindeer hoofbeats with each verse.
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Rhyme Detective – Highlight rhyming pairs; pupils write new couplets that fit the pattern.
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Letter to the Sleigh – Write a poem to Santa’s sleigh describing what it should deliver or where it should go.
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Art Link – Draw or collage an upgraded sleigh with labels using poetic adjectives.
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STEM Extension – Estimate how fast Santa travels and how long it takes to reach their town.
đź”— Related: Performance Poetry KS2
🏍️ Poem 3: What’s Santa Doing Now?
by Ian Bland
Wearing goggles, great big smile,
Cruising smooth for miles and miles.
Wind is blowing through his hair —
Having fun and he don’t care…Revving engine, so much smoke,
Move back children, you might choke!
It’s a sight that you might not like…
BUT Santa’s on a MOTORBIKE!Expensive taste, Italian style,
Watch Santa sip champagne awhile.
Engine purring, bright red paint —
See the price tag — you might faint!Leather interior, sleekest lines,
Don’t care about those speeding fines.
Parmigiani with linguini —
Santa’s got a Lamborghini!At first a dot up in the sky,
Barely visible way up high,
Sometimes there’s a burst of fire,
Slowly rising higher and higher.A red-and-white figure waving his hand,
Looking for somewhere to land…
CRASHING ON YOUR ROOF QUITE SOON —
Santa’s in a HOT AIR BALLOON!Wobbly handles, squeaky wheels,
Santa doesn’t like the way it feels.
Got no brakes, hard to stop,
Useless with all the presents he’s got!Hard to see through this bushy beard,
Travelling like this is kinda weird…
Bought second-hand on eBay — rumour’s true —
Santa’s coming and he’s on a SCOOTER too!Gliding gracefully over the sea,
Where on earth could Santa be?
Over waves and through the spray,
All the boats get out the way.“Cowabunga!” — he’s wet through,
California beach will give you a clue…
Soggy presents delivered, we’re assured —
Santa arrived on a SURFBOARD!
đź’ˇ Classroom Activity Ideas
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Transport Transformation – Imagine five new ways Santa could travel: skateboard, submarine, pogo stick, drone, roller-skates.
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Rhyme and Refrain – Notice repeated structures; pupils invent a new stanza in the same style.
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Performance Challenge – Groups dramatise each stanza with props or sound effects.
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STEM Link – Compare the speeds of Santa’s vehicles and chart the results.
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Creative Writing Extension – Write a newspaper headline: “Santa Spotted on a Jet Ski!” and a short follow-up poem.
đź”— Related: Funny Poems for KS2 Children | Poems About Winter KS2
🛍️ Poem 4: Santa’s Gone Shopping
by Ian Bland
Fluffy white pyjamas to wear in bed,
Rolls of wallpaper, mainly red.
Stripy long socks that look a bit weird,
A comb to straighten up that beard.
Reindeer-shaped AirPods, a flat-screen telly,
An oversized belt to go round his belly.He’s cleaned up his grotto
And finished his mopping —
It’s time for Santa to go SHOPPING!A hammer, a chisel, a brand-new axe,
A bottle of brandy to help him relax…
A pair of goggles to see in the snow,
A new Sat Nav so he knows where to go.
Steel-capped black boots, a new sleigh bell,
A massive carrot so his snowman can smell.He’s finished his Christmas cake
And put on the topping —
It’s time for Santa to go SHOPPING!A comfy cushion to go on his chair,
Bleaching powder for his greying hair,
Reading glasses — obviously round —
A shovel for when he gets snowbound.
A tiny bed for his favourite elf,
Some tinsel to hang up on the shelf.He’s spending his money,
And this guy’s not stopping —
It’s time for Santa to go SHOPPING!A new speedometer for his sleigh,
Waitrose biscuits just for Boxing Day,
Bath bombs for when he needs a pamper,
The finest Marks & Spencer hamper.
Snowman-shaped holder for his toilet roll,
Batteries for the remote control.He’s collected some firewood
And now it needs chopping —
Because Santa’s DONE his Christmas SHOPPING!
đź’ˇ Classroom Activity Ideas
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Poetic Shopping Lists – Pupils invent funny shopping lists for elves or reindeer using rhyme and rhythm.
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Vocabulary Sort – Identify nouns/adjectives; group them (food, clothes, tools).
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Maths Link – Add prices and totals; create a festive budget!
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Performance Idea – Stage “Santa’s Supermarket Sweep” with props or mime.
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Writing Extension – Write a sequel: “The Elf’s Gone Shopping” or “Mrs Claus’s Online Order Disaster!”
đź”— Related: KS2 Poems for Assemblies
🧠Teacher Pedagogy Notes
Curriculum Links
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English: rhyme, rhythm, imagery, structure, performance.
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PSHE: empathy, teamwork, and using humour kindly.
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Art & Design: illustration and display work.
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Music/Drama: soundscapes, tone, and body language.
Differentiation
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Support: provide rhyming word banks.
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Challenge: write an extra verse in the same rhythm.
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Extension: compile a class anthology titled “Our Funny Christmas Poems.”
Engagement Tip
Perform these in assemblies or class shows — pupils love them, teachers laugh, and the festive spirit shines through.
🌟 Final Thoughts
Funny Christmas Poems KS2 are a brilliant way to combine creativity, humour and performance before the holidays.
They help pupils experiment with rhyme, perform with confidence and celebrate the joy of Christmas through poetry.
📚 Every child loves to imagine what Santa might be doing — on a motorbike, in a sleigh, or on a shopping spree!
đź“Ł Bring Poetry to Life in Your School!
Book a Poetry Day or Online Christmas Poetry Workshop and let me help your pupils bring festive fun to life through rhythm, rhyme and imagination.
👉 Find out more about my Poetry Days
👉 Book an Online Workshop
